Fake It Nepal #WeFakeItSoMuchSoThatWeDon'tEvenCreateIt

28, Feb 2018  By Fake It Nepal Kathmandu:  Nepal already encircled with the summer heat and water scarcity impending all over, GON has asked its citizens to take ‘innovative’ approach to celebrating Holi this year and to celebrate the festival online and use MS Paint to throw colors. Speaking to Fake It Nepal, one of the ministers said, “It’s true, the Government was worried about water scarcity in the country and wanted to do something about it. The best we can do is save water. With our PM’s out-of-the-box idea we will not only save water but also give push to digital Nepal.” A website was unveiled where users can upload their phtos and then use MS Paint to throw colors, said, “Now there won’t be any water wastage. In addition people don’t have to take a bath once they are done playing online.” No sooner the news of ‘Online Holi’ was out in the media, news of ‘Rain Dance’ being arranged to celebrate the festival was reported from a few universities. Students w...

23, Feb 2018  By Fake It Nepal Kathmandu: CGPA Bahadur and GPA Kumari felt blissful when their one and a half-year old son spoke few words unexpectedly one day. Both MBA pass outs did not observe it as they were busy in their so called “promising career” after MBA as promised by their MBA college. Babu’s caretaker noticed it and brought him to living room where the MBA couple were sitting. Babu was speaking P…P…T, P…P…T, after taking pause for few seconds again he was shouting PPT. Caretaker of the baby, RekhDekh Kumari while speaking to Fake It Nepal said, “Both Sir and Madam were worried with Babu’s verbal skills. When kids of his age have started calling out Mamu, Buwa, he was not able to say single word. Thank God, for listening to my prayers. Now my prince has started speaking.” She further added, “It was traumatic time for me too, both Sir and Madam will come back home and as per the list of action items they have fed on their mobiles, will ask me how many times B...

21, Feb 2018  By Fake It Nepal Kathmandu:  Los-Angeles based Virgin Hyperloop One on Wednesday signed a Memorandum of Understanding (MoU) with the Nepal government to build and develop the world’s first operational hyperloop between Mechi and Mahakali. This will decrease the travel time between Mechi and Mahakali to 2 hours. Even though the final project delivery will take several years, experts are confident that the hyperloop will be functional well before East West Railway. East West Railway is a project more mysterious than the Bermuda Triangle as nobody has been able to figure out the purpose of the feasibility study conducted over a period of last 400 years for the East West Railway. The government has promised that the railway will run in next few years, but that promise has been taken the same way as ‘ Voli Deki Raksi Bandh”  promises. Now the experts have weighed in and said that the proposed Mechi-Mahakali hyperloop will be completed well ...

An employee at a leading commercial bank in Kathmandu ended up in the customer’s house after he found a man talking about not having a bank account. The Kathmandu-based customer, who also was excellent at bargaining, did not realise that his negotiation with the bank staff lasted for over two hours on the entire route from the branch located in Kamaladi to his house located at Balkot, Bhaktapur. As soon as they entered the house, the bank staff demanded visiting fees from him, which reportedly upset the customer. The bank staff, who has bagged various awards in the past for being an ambitious employee, did not budge and followed the customer all the way to Balkot in the local bus. On the other hand, the customer did not agree to open bank account at the offered interest rate and kept on insisting to increase interest rate on during the bus journey. The customer, accompanied by his wife, refused to pay attention to her advice as she tried to convince him to let go off opening a ba...

19, Feb 2018  By  Fake It Nepal Kathmandu:  Faltu Sewak, a 25 YO unemployed person, claiming to be an activist working in correcting mistakes whatever he sees while he roams around the city in an attempt to kill his leisure life. It was a bright sunny day in the month of Falgun and was scheduled to kill his time by watching the Nepal Army practicing their drills for Democracy Day in Tundikhel and was passing through Kamaladi (Unofficial Wall Street of Nepal). While staring a beautiful girl entering one of the bank’s branches, he noticed something wrong in the entrance of the branch. He is expert in checking time and date in his mobile every 2 minutes and reveals it’s very useful in killing time and have an impression on others to be a very busy person. His activist spirit took over his body and he naturally walked to the bank’s entrance and started rubbing the “PUSH” signage. In no time, the security personnel of the bank held him up in NY Police style and started...

18, Feb 2018  By  Fake It Nepal Kathmandu:  Shoppie Kumari amazed the salesperson of a shop by finding something which has “50% discount” tag on it. Shoppie Kumari, an emerging model, wasted a whole day sorting for single product with “50% discount” as she wanted to know if the shops really offee any product with 50% discount when they put this kind of sale advertisements. She was glad to note stores are honest. More than Shoppie, Sales Manager of the outlet, Money Bahadur was happy someone found the ‘missing piece’ he was looking for last so many days. While talking to us Money Bahadur said, “We started this year sale around Christmas time and ending it this Sunday coinciding with the Loshar holiday weekend. This year the target I got from my management is to have 5 PPM (parts per million). For a million products inside store, 5 pieces need to have 50% off. Other four pieces were sold on day 1 of the sale in first one hour. This one was missing. I thought som...

14, Feb 2018 By Fake It Nepal      Is buying roses giving you blood pressure problems? Are you also thinking of breaking up with your partner just because you can’t afford roses for V-Day? Well, don’t worry because the Central Bank has asked banks to provide ‘Rose loans’ which will make your rose shopping easier than before. NRB was getting a lot of requests from across the country to reduce the cost of roses or at least fix the price of rose bouquets. But instead of fixing these issues, the NRB introduced easy loans in all banks for buying roses. We talked to Prabakta Kumar of NRB and asked him the reason behind this. He said, “It is the duty of every government to meet the requests of its citizens. A single rose costs anywhere between 50 rupees and 5000 rupees on V-Day. People were getting depressed as they couldn’t buy roses for their loved ones. That’s when we decided to intervene. We cannot lower the prices of roses as this is the only time whe...

11, Feb 2018 By Fake It Nepal     Tyson Carkey (28), a Kathmandu-based internet addict, who titles himself to be a dog lover on social media, was recently found throwing stones at a dog which peed on his car. The event led jolting impressions across the valley as all had started considering that Tyson was a dog lover, obviously because it was on the Internet and everything on the internet is true. Tyson, who bought a new Renault car last month, was possessive o f his new car ever since he bought it. However, on seeing a dog pee on his car, Tyson took no time in picking up a nearby stone and hurling it towards the dog, who escaped unhurt. Speaking to Fake It Nepal, the dog said, “I always used to read his Social Media posts, where he claimed to be a dog lover. I hence gained confidence that he will never harm any dog. He’s broken my trust today by pelting stones at me. As a part of revenge, I have decided to pee on his car every day.” Tyson’s friends...

05, Feb 2018 By Fake It Nepal A greatest envy of singles, a nightmare for committed ones, Dashain for gift shops – the annual valentine’s lyang is back. The malls, campuses, food joints are packed with couples who can’t get enough of each other and singles of the Forever Alone Club are amused over some of the most unusual jodis. Fake It Nepal has exclusively counted down the reality behind the Valentine’s week timeline: Rose Day There’s a reason why a red colour flower is chosen for this special day. It is the color for danger. It was selected after carefully going over all the intricate details. Cupid himself gives you one final warning on the very first day of the Valentine’s fiasco. But as they say “ माया अन्दा हुन्छ ”  Propose Day “ आफ्नो खुट्टामा बन्चरो हान्नु ”, as simple as that. It is on this officially designated day that a guy voluntarily agrees to fuck his own wallet, and not just metaphorically. Guy proposes, the lady disposes.  ...

2, Feb 2018  By Fake It Nepal Kathmandu:  A resolution was passed by the UN security council for sending peacekeeping force to Nepal to extinguish the fire between the fans of Messi and Ronaldo. The security Council arranged an urgent meeting to sort out the issue which is more vital than the civil wars taking place in gulf region. Talking to Fake It Nepal Messi Bhakta said “it is the more important issue in Nepal. Who care for petrol and Diesel price hike or pollution”.  Previously, the government tried to intervene and facilitate the peace talk between the supporters of Messi and Ronaldo fearing the issue might become a civil war in the country but there was no ice breaking point to the hatred. Ronaldo Premi questioned, "How can we agree that Ronaldo and Messi are same knowing that Ronaldo is the best" But the two heroic footballers remained in complete muteness on this regard as they  know they have companionship personally and their fans are the most...

२८ जान २०१८ By फेक इट नेपाल काठमाडौं . बिश्व भरि तहल्का मच्चाएको रियालिटी सो “Big Boss” अन्ततः नेपाल आउने भएको छ। AP2 च्यानलमा प्रसारण हुन लागेको सो प्रचारप्रसार गर्दा Under the license from Viacom 18 भनेर नि प्रचार हुनेछ जुन सम्बन्धित दर्शकहरुले “Produced By Jessu George” लाइ जस्तै मतलब गर्ने छैनन्। हुन त भारतीय संस्करणको ‌ नै Big Boss को लोकप्रियता नेपालमा ब्यापक भएको कारण Big Boss लाइ दुइ बर्ष पहिले नै नेपाली संस्करणको ल्याउने प्रयास भएको त हैन यद्यपि Big Boss को लागि दमदार आवाज भएको मानिस पाउन सकेको थिएन। नेपाली संस्करणको Big Boss मा हाउस मेम्बर को सहभागिताको लागि खोजी भइरहेको र विशेष सुत्रका अनुसार चर्चित बैंकर देखि नेपाली वानाबि सनी लियोन र अन्य सँग कुरा भइसकेको जानकारी फेक इट नेपालले प्राप्त गरेको छ। सिसन बानियाँ सँग संवाद गर्न खोज्दा उनी आफ्नो युटुब च्यानल ”Paradygm TV” को अर्को हिट भिडियोको काममा उनी व्यस्त थिए र उनको प्रतिकिया लिन हामी असफल ...

23,  Jan 2018 By  Fake It Nepal Kathmandu. Food blogging is a fashion that has been growing its popularity for last few years. Not everyone can become a food blogger as not everyone understands the ins and outs of it. Recently, a food blogger named Hanteni Kumari shot to fame after she became a food blogger just by identifying the presence of mashed potato inside Pani Puri served by her favourite Pani-puri wala. Talking to Fake It Nepal she said “Not everyone can become a food blogger. You need to know each and every taste and the thin line that distinguishes these tastes. Earlier, I only used to know 2 tastes – sweet and spicy. But after tasting many different dishes made by mom, I came to know about the 3rd taste – sour. Once you’ve tasted enough foods and if you’re vocabulary is proficient enough, only then can you become a food blogger. and realised a very important thing. I had seen some food-blogging sites, so I logged into one and entered the review of my mom’s...

20 Jan 2018 By फेक इट नेपाल पोखरा . बेलायतमा बसोबास रहेको २५ बर्षकी iPhone कुमारी विवाह गर्न पोखरा आएकी थिइन्। उनको परिवारमा विवाहको कुराले रौनक छाएको थियो तर एकाएक त्यो रौनक निरासामा परिणत भयो जब iPhone कुमारीले सहमत गरिएको विवाह नगर्ने आह्वान गरिन्। विवाह नगर्ने पछि हटेको कारण एउटा मेसेज रहेको बताइन्छ। छिमेकीबाट प्राप्त जानकारी अनुसार iPhone कुमारीको विवाह बुटवलमा मोबाइल ब्यापार गर्ने Mobile बहादुरसँग तय भएको थियो। हिजो राती Mobile बहादुरले मायाले भरिएको मेसेज पठाएका थिए। मेसेजको अन्तिम भागमा “Sent from my Intex” देख्नासाथ iPhone कुमारीको हातबाट Mobile खस्यो र उनी चक्कर लागेर लड्न पुगिन्। उनी बजारिए पछि घरमा हल्ला - खल्ला मच्चियो। धेरै मिहिनेत गरेर उनलाई होसमा ल्याइएको थियो। होसमा आउने बित्तिकै उनले फेरी सुनाइन् “Micromax भएको भएपनि ठिक थियो म सहन सक्थे। बट ... 'Intex!' ओ माई गड !” भनेर फेरि बेहोस भइन्। iPhone कुमारी फेरि होसमा आएपछि Mobile बहादुरस...

17, Jan 2018 By Fake It Nepal Siraha : It is a known fact that majority of the population of Siraha is into the business of selling pan masala and the entire population is into eating pan masala. However, Bikaso has created a profession out of eating pan/gutkha. Popularly known as Painter Bikaso , He is one-of-his-kind painter who creates abstract art by spitting pan/gutkha on a white paper or canvas. It was not until age 6 when Mr.Bikaso discovered his talent. He says, “I started eating pan at the age of 4. Yes, I was late as compared to other kids in siraha but I didn’t give up. By the time I learned to spit properly, I also developed the ability to make patterns by spitting pan/gutkha.” He further added that despite his delayed start, it was his dedication to spit that brought him all the success. Bikaso's mother, who initially didn’t support his profession, is all praise for him now. “I was very frustrated because he spat on the walls of the house. After a point in tim...

14, Jan 2018 By Fake It Nepal Kathmandu:  Miss. Behoshi, who went into unconsciousness five years back due to car accident, well again now. After being taken home from hospital, first thing Behoshi wanted to watch her favorite TV serials for which family has made proper arrangement. “As family members were not recognized by her, Doctor wanted to give her some time. We were supposed slowly share with her, what all changes have happened in last 5 years. Unfortunately for us, after watching couple of episodes of her favorite TV serial, she does not agree she was in coma for 5 years”, said one of Behoshi’s uncle. Behoshi told me, “Do not play with my emotions. The main characters Abhi and Pragya from  KumKum Bhagya  are facing same problems in their day to day life as they used to be when I watched them last. Do not joke with me that I have missed 5 years of my favorite serial”.  “If she watches serials like  KumKum Bhagya,  nothing will change for h...

१२ जान, २०१८ By फेक इट नेपाल काठमाडौं । यदी कोई आफ्नो ल्यापटप वा मोबाईलमा कुनै कुरा को पासवर्ड टाइप गरिरहेको हुन्छ भने सोझो मान्छे अर्को साईड तिर टाउको घुमाउछन्। यो सैयो बर्ष देखी चलेको चलन हो । तर हिजो काठमाडौंबासी चासो बहादुरले त्यो चलिआएको चलन माथि कलन्क लगाएको जानकारी Fake It Nepal ले प्रप्त गरेको छ । चासो बहादुरको साथी फेस्बूक बहादुरले जब आफ्नो फकेबूकमा पास्वर्ड टाईप गर्दै थियो तब चासो बहादुर टाउको अरु तिर घुमाउनुको बद्ला  लजास्पद तरिकले पास्वर्ड टाईप गरेको नै हेरिरहयो। यो देखेपछी फेस्बूक बहादुरलाई मानब्तामाथि बिश्वास हरायो र उस्ले चासो बहादुरसँग ठाउँको ठाउँ आफ्नो मित्रता त्याग्नु नै जायज लाग्यो। त्यो विश्वासघाती घटना पछी Fake It Nepal सँग कुरा गर्दै फेस्बूक बहादुरले भने, "दुनियामा करोड मान्छेहरु छन जो छड्के नजर ले पास्वर्ड हेर्ने गर्छन्, त्यो सालाले त्यसरी नि हेर्न सक्थ्यो! तर त्यो त आँखा ठुलो-ठुलो गरी हेर्दैथ्यो, मैले आफ्नो टाउको घुमाएर नि तेस्लाई हेरे ताकी तेस्ले मेरो इसरा बुझोस्, तर तेस्लाई केहि पनि अशर भएन।” "आज सम्मको रेकोर्ड हो ब्रो! जब कस...

11, Jan 2018  By  Fake It Nepal Kathmandu:  In a serious case of mis-alignment of incentives a fresh MBA grad by name MBA Bahadur was beaten up by his mother using slippers and sticks, for using extreme management jargon at home. MBA Bahadur who has apparently finished his MBA a few months back from Over-achievers Institute of Management (OIM) is now working with a multinational and has been picking up a lot of management jargon at work. He has also been using a lot of this jargon at home to reply to even simple questions such as “When will you have dinner?”, something which reportedly irked his mother. In an interview given to a women’s magazine MBA Bahadur’s mother expressed strong concerns on well-being of her son. She said, “Yesterday evening I asked him, Babu when will you come down for dinner, and he replied ‘Mamu I have de-prioritized dinner for 1 hour and will touch base with you and dad with further updates at 09:15 PM.” I was shocked to hear such idio...

11, Jan 2018 By   Fake It Nepal   Bhootgunj:  GSM Bahadur, a Sales Manager of a Telecom major company in Nepal revolutionized the Telecom Industry by asking his sales executives to target large untapped ghost subscriber base residing in Nepal. This idea came to his mind after he was trying to sell 4G data cards to Tantriks who did not even know what Nokia 3310 is. Bugged by lot of pushing from him he asked to go and sell his SIM card connections and recharge cards to Chamatkari Chudail and Premi Pisaaj. On detailed probing GSM Bahadur found both of them to be in Love and long distance relationship. There were several misunderstandings created due to lack of communications between them. This effort was lauded by the organization’s CMO and is planning to launch Nation-wide marketing campaigns portraying them to be leaders in Ghost services and would be called ‘Shaitaan plans’. There is a lot of enthusiasm in the enitre Bhoot and Pisaaj union regarding issua...

09, Jan 2018 By Fake It Nepal काठमाडौँ. 'Crush Stalking Tax (CST)' पछि अब एउटा नया Taxको खबरले पुरा देश शोकमा डुबेको छ, खासगरी युवायुवती, कारण हो सरकारले अब देखि Facebookमा मीम मा टयाग गर्दा लाग्ने Tax जसलाई ‘Meme Tag Tax’ (MTT) भनिएको छ l यद्यपि, कति मान्छे हरु ‘मीम’ लाई ‘मेमे’ भन्न रुचाउछन् किन कि जुन मजा मेमेमा छ त्यो मीममा छैन l Facebook मा Eklo Kto Moh नाम भएका युवा जो एकदमै एक्लो छन् वहाको भनाइ यो छ कि "माया मा भएका Couple हरेक दिन Couple Goal पोस्ट्स मा एकअर्कालाई टयाग गर्दै हुन्छन, हरेक पुरानो Crush अहिले बिहे गरेर फोटो अपडेट गर्छन-'World's Best Husband', कसरि ब्रो? तेसैले Facebook खोल्ने बितिकै हामी जस्तोलाई डिप्रेशनको फीलिंग आउछ l एस्तो परिस्थतिमा हामी मीमको सहारा पाउछौ l हामी जस्तो बोका र एक्लो केटाहरु जसको अघिपछि केटिहरु नि आउदैनन, हामीले एकअर्कालाई टयाग गर्न सुरु भयो, साथीले एउटा मा गर्यों भने म दुइटा मा गर्दिन्थ्ये र यसरी धेरै समय रमाइलो चलिरहयो" भन्दै Eklo Kto Moh यादमा हराउनुभयो। "जिन्दगिको असली खुसि मीमले दिरहेको अवस्था ...

4, Jan 2018 By Fake It Nepal  Kathmandu. In an out of the box test of love and bonding, a local girl Sita Kumari has asked her boyfriend to buy her a Colors Pride P70 Selfie Phone from e-commerce website Sastodeal. Colors Mobile, which are available only on Sastodeal are infamous for getting sold out in just few seconds. While this has resulted into rumors of the website indulging in some scam or gimmick for publicity, the incident has prompted Sita Kumari to use it as a test to check strength of her boyfriend’s love for her. “He often claims to bring the stars and the moon for me. But, I am being very reasonable and asking only for a mobile,” argued Sita Kumari, “It’s time for him to walk the talk.” However, sources close to Sita Kumari say that there could be another possible reason behind her over the top demand. “A weeks back, one of her friends, Rita Kumari, was gifted a Colors mobile by her boyfriend. And Rita kept telling Sita that considering the effort her boyfriend put to...